WARNING: THE FASA DATABASE IS GOVERNMENT PROPERTY AND IS HIGHLY

CONFIDENTIAL

UNAUTHORIZED VIEWERS WILL BE LOCATED, DETAINED AND TERMINATED


GLOBAL NOTICE:

FAILURE TO REPORT INFILTRATION OR AN EXTERNAL REQUEST FOR INFILTRATION WILL RESULT IN AMNESTIFICATION AND/OR TERMINATION. SEIZURE OF BODY FOR SCIENTIFIC DONATION USED BY FASA IS PERMISSIBLE. THIS WILL BE YOUR ONLY WARNING.

ANY REPORTS OF INFILTRATION WILL BE REVIEWED IMMEDIATELY. CORRECT REPORTS WILL BE MET WITH A QUARTERLY RANK REVIEW. FALSE REPORTING WILL BE MET WITH WARNINGS.


REVIEWING CONTAINMENT | MEETING ROOM 2B

A NEW CLASS HAS BECOME AVAILABLE TO ALL ON-SITE PERSONNEL. THIS WILL BE HELD AT 10:00 SHARP ON MONDAY, JULY 20. PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR FACULTY ADMINISTRATOR IF YOU WILL BE ATTENDING.

LEARN THE NEW METHODS FOR ANOMALOUS CONTAINMENT AND PROPER DOCUMENTATION SKILLS. ALL MEMBERS WILL BE SUPPLIED WITH A E-PDA AND BOOKS FOR THE COURSE. FAILURE OF THE COURSE WILL RESULT IN AMNESTIFICATION AND REMOVAL FROM THE FASA.


DATA PROCESS:

AS ALL OF OUR RECORDS PRE-1980 ARE STORED IN PHYSICAL FORM, WE ARE ASSIGNING MULTIPLE SITE PERSONNEL AT EACH CONSECUTIVE SITE TO TRANSFER OUR ANOMALOUS RECORDS TO .EDOC OR .EPDF FORMATS, HIGHLY ENCRYPTED.

WORKERS MUST PREPARE TO DISPLAY BADGES EVERY SATURDAY TO PROVE IDENTIFICATION, DUE TO RECENT SECURITY BREACHES. FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE QUESTIONING AND/OR AMNESTICIATION AND TERMINATION.


NOTICE: ANY DRUGS LOCATED ON ANY SITE PERSONNEL WILL BE CONFISCATED AND INCINERATED, FOLLOWED BY SEVERE REPRIMAND. NON-SEVERE AMNESTIFICATION MAY BE TAKEN IF WANTED. CONTINUED USE WILL RESULT IN TERMINATION.

CALENDAR

August 8th: TRAINING CLASSES HELD AT BLYSAVOCICH HALL THIS COMING SUNDAY.

August 7th: NEW EAGLE IN COMMAND, SEVERAL OSPREYS ELECTED AS SPARROW RANK OFFICER.

August 1st: NUCLEAR REACTOR FULLY FUNCTIONAL AND INSTALLED AT SITE'S 12, 60, 62, 41, 1, 3, 7, 83, 94, AND 51. EXPECTED TO BE INSTALLED SOON AT 14, 15, 73, 74, 67, AND 84.

JULY 28th: U.S. GOVERNMENT REQUESTS ACCESS TO SITE'S 12 and 52. ACCESS GRANTED. EXTREMELY CRITICAL RESEARCH STORED IN ON-SITE SECURE LOCKER 19.

THE "DANGERS" OF NUCLEAR POWER


ARTICLE WRITTEN BY DOCTOR MALKOVICH: DUE TO SEVERAL COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE RECENT SWITCH FROM CONVENTIONAL POWER TO A NUCLEAR-POWERED FACULTY SOLUTION, FASA WILL BE ATTEMPTING TO DISPROVE ANY RUMORS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD. CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, THE REACTOR IS NOT A LAST-RESORT CONTAINMENT OPTION AND IS MAINTAINED PROPERLY AND DAILY BY HIGHLY-TRAINED, SPECIALIZED PERSONNEL.

IN CASE OF A CONTAINMENT BREACH (EXTREMELY UNLIKELY) THE REACTOR WILL BE SHUTDOWN IMMEDIATELY AND LOWERED INTO A SECURE CONTAINMENT CHAMBER TO BE STABILIZED UNTIL THE SITE IS RECOVERED. NO HARMFUL RADIATION WILL LEAK FROM THE REACTOR AT ANY TIME. IN CASE OF ERROR, HIGHLY-TRAINED PERSONNEL WILL DON CLASS-4 BIOHAZARD SUITS AND SECURE THE REACTOR. THANK YOU.


PLEASE CONTACT YOUR FACULTY ADMINISTRATOR IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.


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